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Researchers have consistently found a correlation between confidence and success. Confident people are perceived as being more attractive, they're better at sales and do well in the front of the room. They also believe they can handle whatever life throws at them and take more risks, which naturally leads to unlocking opportunities. If you'd like to see more of these characteristics in yourself, here's what you can do to be more comfortable in your own skin.
1. Always be ready to tell a good story
Even if your life is generally quiet and lacking adventure or drama, you should always be able to answer the question "What's new?" with something other than "Not much." Confident people are good conversationalists, but it's a skill that some people need to practice more than others. Are you planning a vacation? Remodeling part of your house? Running kids around to sporting events? Invested in a big project at work that's demanding your attention? Find something interesting to say when someone starts a conversation.
2. Demonstrate inquisitiveness
Also in the spirit of being a good conversationalist, try to show genuine interest in the people around you. Here are good questions to get people talking about themselves: What are you most excited about? What are you struggling with at the moment? What's next? You should also be prepared to answer these queries yourself -- doing so will help you be ready to tell a good story.
3. Practice good posture
Do not slouch -- it communicates you lack faith in yourself. If this is a weak area for you, try posting a note on the edge of your computer display with a reminder such as an up-arrow in thick red marker. To correct yourself, roll your shoulders back and imagine pulling a string from the top of your head, elongating your spine and raising your chin so it's in a neutral, forward-facing position.
4. Stop worrying about what people think
Less confident people often can't be present and their best selves if they're constantly asking themselves questions such as: Did I come across as confident? Did they think that I was smart? Did they think that I was successful? Did they think what I said was stupid? In truth, you can never really know what someone else thinks of you. So, instead of worrying about it, concentrate on what you want to communicate, such as asking good questions, not engaging in time-wasting small talk, and looking people in the eyes.
5. Eliminate negative self-talk
Pay attention to what you're saying to yourself within your mind. Every time you think something like "I can't do this," replace it with something positive such as "I'm going to give it my best shot." The key is to step out of yourself and look at your self-talk as an outsider. How would it make you feel to hear someone sitting next to you say "I'm so [fat, dumb, ugly, slow, etc.]?" Pretty harsh, right? Nurture yourself within your thought life, just as you would with someone else.
6. Speak Clearly and Confidently
The way you speak also influences how others perceive you. To come across as confident and charming, practice speaking clearly and confidently. Pay attention to your tone, volume, and pace of speech. Speak slowly and clearly, enunciate your words, and use a moderate volume. Avoid using filler words such as "um" and "ah" as they can make you appear unsure and hesitant.
7. Invest in your appearance
Whether this means buying a new outfit, getting a good haircut, fixing dental problems, or seeing an esthetician, people who look good on the outside feel better on the inside. In fact, researchers have found that when people think they are more physically attractive, they believe that they belong to a higher social class, regardless of how good looking they really are or their actual social status.
In conclusion, building a confident and charming personality takes time and effort, but it is possible. Believe in yourself, practice good posture, speak clearly and confidently, develop social skills, embrace your unique personality, dress for success, and maintain a positive attitude. With consistent practice and dedication, you can become the charming and confident person you aspire to be.